During this time I had to have another surgery on my left leg that did
not work left me unable to walk without a walker, after getting hurt on the
job, they fired me after being released from workers comp because I cannot
drive a forklift with a walker, I fell into a deep depression, it was all too
much for me to handle. My husband became my rock; he did everything from taking
care of the kids to the house work and worked a full time job, and never once
complained. The calls from the school
continued for Shane, meltdowns and anger over being bullied, I have been
fighting this for years at the school, doing all I could do for my son, The meeting and being told they had handled
it, Shane was becoming more and more withdrawn, we increased his therapy to
include one a week at the school.
No parent should ever
get the call that they need to get to the school right away, that there was a
problem, but they happen, until the one day I got the call that my son was in
the fetal position in the classroom rocking back and forth having suffered a
complete mental break from an incident that happened in the lunchroom with the
one person who was not suppose to be anywhere near him. It was at that time
that I had to make the heartbreaking choice to follow the professional’s recommendation
to put him in a behavioral health center or bring him home with me and hold him.
I will never forget the long drive there, my son who had never spent any time
away from me unless it was with the bio, was being admitted to the hospital for
being harmful to himself. Shane hated it and me for leaving him there. The
daily calls begging me to come get him, he was being hit by staff and crying
that I did not love him broke my heart, but I held my ground, even though my heart
was breaking I left him there.
Visitation was only two days a week for two
hours a day, the drive was long and hard on my back and leg, but nothing was going
to keep me from seeing my son. This affected his brother in a way that I did
not expect; he was sullen for the first couple of days and cried for me to
bring Shane home, at 7 he did not understand, hell sometimes neither did I. The
day the doctor called me and told me that Shane had Autism will stay with me
forever, I always suspected he did but when I heard those words I felt like I
had been punched in the stomach. Panic set in, will I be able to help him have
a happy life, will he be able to process this information when we told him and
how would he handle it.
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